From Cancer Diagnosis to Living a Healthy, Joyful, Vibrant Life
“I’m sorry, it’s positive” came the man’s voice on the phone. I was at work in my office when I got the call. I stepped outside because I knew I was going to get the answer that I had been waiting days to hear (that’s a special kind of hell of its own). Because I experienced a negative biopsy just the year before I was worried but also not expecting these words. I think I let out a sound. I know I leaned against the wall and sank to the floor but not before I poked my head back in my office and called out for my work friend, Jennifer, to hold my hand while I talked to this voice on the phone.
He couldn’t tell me much. Just that I had breast cancer and that I should call a specialist. He told me just enough to allow my naturally catastrophic mind to go wild. Jennifer held my hand tighter and tighter as I sobbed and asked more and more questions that the man couldn’t answer.
I hung up and called my husband. He drove me home. We were stunned. I was 48. I had a 15 year old daughter and two younger step daughters. We had just married a year before. Life was getting ready to change in a BIG way. And not at all like I expected. My first thought was that I wanted to live long enough to see my daughter turn 18 (spoiler alert, I did… and I learned cancer isn’t the death sentence that it used to be).
The next day the roller coaster began. Doctors appointments were made, tests were conducted (soooooo many tests), family members and friends were told. I lost my appetite. I couldn’t eat anything. I think I began to understand what the word distraught means. I was going through the motions as if nothing was wrong so the kids wouldn’t catch on, I was still working full time (didn’t take a day off until the surgery date), I was consulting surgeons and oncologists. I lost 13 pounds in one month.
I tell anyone who has been diagnosed that the worst time period is between diagnosis and the treatment plan. It’s the grayest of all areas, the saddest and scariest of time. Get through that and you can get through anything.
During that time, without my knowing it, my true life transformation was happening. I slowly began to be exposed to a lifestyle of health and wellness that I’d not known before. Like next level stuff! Nutrition, self care, stress management, faith, spirituality and so much more. I thought I was healthy. I learned I had a long ways to go to be truly, vibrantly healthy.
My first foray was with the Chris Beat Cancer Square One program where he taught several tenets of optimal, anti-cancer health and lifestyle. I listened to each one and took notes while, at times, sobbing from exhaustion and terror. From there I delved deep into nutrition. I followed gurus, absorbed the science behind it, radically made changes - even before my surgery date. I was seeing more and more how plant based nutrition not only fuels and supports our bodies but fights diseases… prevents diseases. Could I possibly help my body heal, fight cancer and ultimately prevent cancer returning just from the foods I ate?? Quite possibly. I was filled with hope. This was something within my control.
Six weeks after my diagnosis I was on the operating table having a double mastectomy with reconstruction. I was blessed with nipple-sparing surgery so my breasts still “looked” like my breasts. That doesn’t happen with each surgery but I was thankful that it happened with mine. I didn’t need radiation and I opted out of chemo due to the size of my tumor being “on the line” between needing it and not needing it. Of all the decisions I had to make, not doing chemo was the hardest. I believe in my decision but getting there was extremely difficult.
As I healed and nurtured myself and slowly recovered (not only my body but my spirit) I began to read voraciously about the healthy lifestyle I’d started to learn about prior to my surgery.
Pieces of information and insight and clarity were coming at me with lightning speed.
You see, I thought I was optimally healthy. But, I was dead wrong. I was eating a SAD diet (standard American diet - meals were based around servings of meat with salads and veggies on the side and maybe one piece of fruit a day), I was stressed and exhausted from a demanding job, a long commute, 3 underage kids at home and I had only very recently begun a spiritual practice (ironically, I had stopped drinking about four months prior to my diagnosis and learned about meditation at that time and I was just a beginner). I’ve always been a writer/journaler so I continued that practice and it was helpful. I had also started a gratitude practice where I listed five things every day I was grateful for. And I can look back now and see that even on day one of “cancer” I was grateful for five things. Crazy, right? Most importantly, I had ignored my intuition for years (which caused some bad decisions) and I was as lost as I’d ever been.
As I began learning more I became radically passionate about nutrition - I was JAZZED! This could heal me! Prevent future illness! But I had no idea where to start. I didn’t know how to cook differently or serve my family healthy meals that they would eat. I began to follow lots of blogs about plant based nutrition for beginners. Making easy food swaps, learning about ways to add more plants into any meal I was eating and serving. My kids joked for a bit that I turned everything into a “lentil something”. Lentil soup, lentil “meat loaf”, lentil “beef crumble”, etc. Yeah, I had to endure some good natured teasing. We ended up having a house divided because I also respected that this was my journey and I didn’t want to force this way of eating on my family. I would make plant based meals and then cook meat on the side for anyone that wanted to add it. But our fridge was stocked with healthy options!! Fresh fruits and vegetables in season, juicy and ripe, beans and lentils (of course!) in the pantry. And I was loving learning how to cook and eat differently. I knew this was the path for me.
After that came a regular exercise routine that worked for me, a spiritual practice I still enjoy to this day (5 years later), stress management (lots of boundaries went up at home and at work), I learned the importance of sleep hygiene and getting enough rest and I spent weeks and weeks learning about my environment and its impact and replacing toxic household cleaners with homemade cleaning products with essential oils (full disclosure, I now buy those but I enjoyed knowing how to make them).
I learned tips and tricks and hacks and new ways of doing things and, oh so slowly, created a much healthier life and body than I’d ever had.
Side note: Last week I saw my general physician who I had not seen in 5 years since my diagnosis and he said I look better now than I ever have. Healthy lifestyle for the win!!
I regularly receive compliments about how young I look (aging in reverse a friend said!), how happy I look and how energetic I come across. It’s because I feel healthy and energetic and passionate about the life I have now. And through this journey came purpose and passion - to become a health and wellness coach to help others. It now drives me. It didn’t come easily, but I dug deep, determined to not be defeated and I learned how to create a healthy body and a healthy life. And I am passionate about teaching women how they can do the same. I don’t want anyone to have to wait for a diagnosis to start living a healthy, vibrant, joyful life. You can have that NOW! I feel called to do this work. And that, probably, makes me happiest of all.
If you want to learn more about how you can incorporate these lessons, principles in your life to create optimum health, joy and vibrancy please contact me for a no-pressure phone call. I’d love to talk with you more about your needs and interests!
